Tales of the Intermezzo - PsyOp
A Transformers Universe Story
copyright 2007 by Dave Van Domelen
based on properties owned by Hasbro
===========================================================================
"intermezzo - n. A brief entertainment between two acts of a play."
- American Heritage Dictionary
"SKYWARP!" Cliffjumper shouted as he pulled out his backup pistol and
fired a laser barrage into the setting Sun. There was a sharp crack as
his
beams struck home.
"That no Decepticon, that rock shape!" Grimlock chided tha smaller
Autobot. "See?"
Adjusting his optics to better compensate for the glare, Cliffjumper
looked more closely. There was no Decepticon threat, merely a jumble of
stone atop the mesa. "Slag," he sighed.
"And Autobot City is safe from another geological feature," Mirage
chuckled.
"Come a little closer to my *fist* and say that!" Cliffjumper tossed
his
pistol aside and moved towards the Autobot saboteur.
"Calm down, everyone," Ultra Magnus ordered as he stepped out onto
the
section of wall where the little drama was unfolding. "We're all a little
jumpy, there's no need to take it out on Mirage."
"Besides, it *could've* been Skywarp," Cliffjumper retorted
defensively,
lowering his fists a little. "They say he's gotten upgraded, and can
tele****t now. For real. Maybe he ****ted out just as I fired!"
"No one has that ability," Mirage snorted. "Skywarp's just an ace at
misdirection. He puts the deception in Decepticon. Even with the edge my
electro-disruptor gives me, I'm only a little better than he is in that
department," he admitted, with about as much modesty as he ever displayed.
"Skywarp good at making Autobots jump at shadows," Grimlock snorted.
"Jump at shadow easier than fight Decepticons, too. Ugly Monkeypuss need
to
let Autobots out and fight Decepticons before Autobots go bonkers!"
Ultra Magnus sighed. "Do we need to have another sparring match,
Grimlock?"
"Hh. Me Grimlock know Altered Mugmess know HOW fight. Just not WHEN
fight."
"Fine. Fine. Whatever. Just try to avoid killing each other for
the
next few clicks, all right? I have to go make my re****t to Optimus Prime,
and I'd rather not tell him we have casualties that the Decepticons had
nothing to do with."
As he turned to leave, Ultra Magnus thought he could hear Cliffjumper
whisper something about "Knockoffiums Prime", but he ignored it. He
didn't
have time to deal with that right now.
* * * *
"I'm afraid that the siege mentality is setting in, Prime. My men
are
snapping at each other, shooting at shadows...and I'm sure some of those
shadows were put there by the Decepticons. Just today, Cliffjumper wasted
energy shooting at a rock formation that looked vaguely like Skywarp, but
scanlogs show that the formation wasn't even there yesterday. Back when
the
Decepticons were launching regular overt attacks, at least they got to
take
out their anxiety on live targets, but now...."
"Easy, old friend," Prime's face on the viewscreen said. "We knew
this
would happen going in. The whole point of building Autobot City was to
give
the Decepticons a focus for their aggressions that's far from any human
habitation, while also giving you the force multiplier of fixed defenses
to
let you tie down a large ****tion of *their* resources. But a siege is an
inevitable part of that process."
"I just don't think I'm the Autobot for the job, Prime. I don't
inspire
the men like you do. Oh, I expect backtalk from Grimlock, he'd mouth off
to
a black hole. But I'm not just hearing *about* things going on behind my
back, they're starting to mutter about me like I'm not there while I'm
still
in audio range."
"Magnus, I picked you because you're level-headed and clear-thinking.
And you're a better leader than you give yourself credit for. Trust me,
by
this point in a siege operation, the men would be sniping at me too."
"Not as much, though, I'd wager. And I'm still sore from that
demonstration several days ago where I showed Grimlock I could whup his
tail
in unarmed combat. Things quieted down for a little after that, but it's
all
back. Damn, I wish Megatron had sent someone else to handle the
investment
of Earth. Starscream would be too busy scheming to be a real problem, and
Soundwave would just be cold and methodical about it. I miss the old
'dumb
as a box of impact wrenches' Skywarp...this new side he's showing is a
royal
pain in my rectifiers."
Prime chuckled. "Unfortunately, he's never been that stupid, he just
wanted us to think so, so we'd underestimate him. Remember when he used
to
do that weird aerial backflip and claim he was tele****ting?"
Ultra Magnus smirked. "I suppose you're right. He schemes just as
much
as Starscream, he's just better at it. But now he's putting that fiendish
mind of his to the job of making our lives miserable, and he's doing a
damned
good job of it."
"Well, you could try beating him at his own game," Prime suggested.
"He
has you attacking shadows, try casting some of your own. You may not be
as
twisted in your thinking as he is..."
"I'll take that as a compliment, I think."
"Indeed. But, as I was saying, you're just as clever as he is, in
your
way. When you stop beating yourself up over how you should have been
twice
as smart and three times as inspiring, you come through."
Ultra Magnus pondered this. Praise from Optimus Prime wasn't exactly
rare, in his case. Half the time, he was sure Prime was just trying to
save
his feelings, given all the trouble Ultra Magnus got for being seen as a
poor
copy of Prime himself. But this one was sincere, he could tell.
"I do think I have an idea, actually. And it'll let me make use of
one
of my troublemakers. Thank you, Optimus Prime...signing off now, I have
some
arrangements to make."
"Good to hear," Prime replied, a smile in his tone. "I'll talk to
you
later, let me know how it goes."
"Will do," Ultra Magnus closed the channel to Cybertron, and turned
to
the local comm. "Cliffjumper, could you re****t to the medbay? I have an
assignment for you."
* * * *
"We got Autobots incoming," Hightower re****ted from his position at
the
monitoring station.
The Decepticon's main siege base was just over the horizon from
Autobot
City, straddling the main section of human-built roadway in the area and
choking off attempts by the fleshy allies of the Autobots to send any
supplies. Granted, with the capabilities of the enemy, it wasn't a true
choking-off, as they could sneak in and out pretty much at will, but it
made
things uncomfortable.
"Identities?" Skywarp asked from the command chair.
"Ultra Magnus in the lead, with Grimlock, a blur I'm pretty sure is
Mirage, that punk Rodimus, Knockdown, Terrorsaur, Strongarm, Firebot
and...
Bumblebee. Almost all of their combat effectives. Must only be a
skeleton
crew still in the city to man the defenses."
"It's unusual to have both Mirage and Bumblebee participate in a
frontal
assault on our position. Keep a very close eye on both of them, I expect
at
least one if not both will peel off in the chaos of the battle and attempt
to
infiltrate our command center. The actual assault is almost definitely a
diversion, unless my psychological warfare has driven them so mad that
Ultra
Magnus has been forced to launch this solely as a means to avoid mutiny."
"Right, sir. Bonecrusher, Long Haul, Scavenger, come on," Hightower
ordered. "We have some Autobots to smash."
Scavenger made as if to protest the usurpation of his leader****p
role,
then sighed and followed. Skywarp concealed a scowl...Devastator was the
most potent single weapon in his arsenal, but it was rotten at its core.
Scavenger either needed to learn to assert himself, or he needed to be
replaced. Skywarp already had a short list of possible candidates in
mind,
but he was giving the Constructicon leader one more chance to prove
himself
before asking Megatron to send one of those replacements...and a cleanup
crew
for what would be left of Scavenger.
"Ramjet," Skywarp turned to his dimwitted second. "You are to make
sure
that Bumblebee doesn't use that jetpack of his to escape the fight. You
are
free to select any other targets you like, but make sure you watch
Bumblebee.
If you see anything yellow in the air, hit it with your head VERY HARD."
"I can do that," Ramjet smiled.
Know the strengths of even your weakest tool and it will serve you
well,
Skywarp reflected. He was pretty sure that Ramjet wasn't emulating his
own
early career, Ramjet really was fairly dense. But sometimes a blunt
instrument was the right tool for the job. A hammer was just fine if you
just wanted to nail something.
* * * *
The moment Ramjet had been watching for finally happened. That puny
little yellow Autobot was trying to take off using his stupid jetpack. He
disengaged from his strafing run, pausing mentally to take a moment to
appreciate the beauty of the explosions he'd sown like crimson flowers in
the
desert. And people called him crude and unartistic! Jerks.
"Where you goin', bug?" Ramjet sneered as he arrowed towards
Bumblebee.
The little twerp was nimble, had to give 'im that, and the first pass
ended
in a distinct lack of a satisfying crunch on Ramjet's nosecone.
"None of your business!" Bumblebee retorted, firing a small laser
pistol
that barely singed Ramjet's wingtip. "Go bother someone else!"
Something was nagging at the back of Ramjet's processor as he wheeled
around for another pass, but he couldn't quite make the connection.
Mentally, he shrugged and tried again.
WHUMP!
Not right, Ramjet realized in sudden horror. The impact had been on
his
wing, not his nose. And the damn Autobot was hanging onto him, not
spiraling
to the ground like he should've been!
"Get off!" Ramjet shouted.
"Not until I get my complimentary beverage!" Bumblebee shouted,
driving
a fist into Ramjet's fuselage. Armor dented.
"OW!" Ramjet cried out. What was going on? This was totally
wrong...
he finally realized what had been nagging at him. Bumblebee was never
this
aggressive. Not a coward, not really, but more of a sneaky guy than a
scrapper. "What's wrong with you, anyway?" he asked, rolling sharply in
an
unsuccessful attempt to shake the small yellow Autobot.
"DECEPTICONS, WITHDRAW TO BASE!" came an urgent order over Ramjet's
comm. Skywarp seemed both really angry and kinda scared.
That's when he noticed the huge plume of smoke and fire rising from
the
Decepticon base.
"What's that?" Ramjet asked aloud, momentarily forgetting about his
passenger.
"As the humans say, the real Bumblebee's in ur base, killin ur
doodz!"
the fake Bumblebee laughed, before kicking Ramjet in the left intake and
leaping off.
* * * *
Cliffjumper finished applying the last of the silver flames and set
the
airbrush down. "That'll do," he nodded.
"Not gonna get your old body back?" Bumblebee asked as he walked into
the room.
"Nah. Body swaps hurt like hell. Maybe I'll get the helmet tweaked,
but I think I'll just wait until I need major repairs or Magnus wants me
to
go undercover as someone else," he smirked. "Good job in there. I
especially liked the bit with the exploding recharger. And the look on
Skywarp's face? Priceless."
"Too bad Ramjet's face wasn't visible when he figured out why 'wimpy
little Bumblebee' was kicking the glitch outta him," Bumblebee smirked.
"So,
you don't mind looking like me?"
"Dude, the difference between you and me is I make this look GOOD,"
Cliffjumper preened.
==============================================================================
Author's Note:
There's a lot of influences on this one. David Willis's comment on
the
Skywarp Classic toy, Fulcrum's Cybertronian Enquirer installment, my own
bio
notes for Skywarp and Ultra Magnus (see my review of the Battle for
Autobot
City at http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/BW/Classic/VoyagerAC
- might not be
complete yet if you're reading this story the day it first goes up), the
"does anyone write fanfic anymore?" thread on the AllSpark and probably
others I'm forgetting. Oh, and Men in Black for that last line. :)
Strictly speaking, this isn't a "true" Intermezzo in that there's no
canon Classic fiction to bridge the gaps in or before/after, but then
again,
the entire Classics *line* is an intermezzo between Cybertron and the
movie.
:)
If the title confuses you, a "PsyOp" is short for psychological
operation, something where the goal is to mess with the enemy's head.
This
can be anything from propaganda to blasting "Ride of the Valkyries" out of
your gun****p to setting up Skywarp-shaped rocks outside Autobot City.
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