Fountain Pen Network Moderator Guidelines!

You know, I feel sorry for those dip**** FPN moderators who have to
read all the posts on FPN.  There are three or so moderators on each
forum who have to--or are supposed to--read all of the stupid and
meaningless comments posted on FPN.  That makes up about 98% of what
is posted on FPN.

Here are the requirements to be an FPN moderator:

1.  You must be stupid.  This is because you will be reading so much
stupidity.  Keep in mind that the FPN administrators are every bit as
stupid as you are.

2.  You must also type out plenty of stupid posts yourself.  Flood
your forums with your own stupidity.


Here are the FPN moderation guidelines.

1.  Allow all stupid posts to go through.  Keep in mind at all times
that 98% of the posters on FPN are some of the stupidest people on the
internet.  

2.  Do not allow any posts to go through that criticize right wing
Christianity or right wing political ideas.  We do permit the right
wingers to criticize all they want, but right wingers have thin skin
and can take criticism, so we do not allow criticism of them on FPN.

3.  Never be discouraged at wasted bandwidth.  One of the purposes of
FPN is to waste as much bandwidth as possible.

4.  If some idiot like SamCapote posts about ink staining his fingers,
express sympathy for him.